When we talk about intelligence, we tend to think about the cognitive intelligence – the ability to learn new things, the ability to concentrate, focus and recall information, to apply knowledge, to solve problems, to think rationally and abstractly. The truth is that there are several types of intelligence. That is because we have more than one mind, not just the mind in our head.
The mind in our head is the reason, the rationale. However, there is also a mind in our heart. That is where the emotional intelligence resides, the emotional, personal and social skills and the ability to influence our competency to cope with demands and the pressure of our environment. It is the ability to succeed in life. A third mind resides in our guts, this is where the intuitive intelligence is. This is the “gut feeling”, the small voice we hear in silence.
These three places in our bodies have neurons in them, specialized nerve cells that receive, process and transmit information to other cells in our body. The number of neurons in our body is fixed which means that they don’t regenerate.
Scans performed recently have shown that there are more neurons in the heart and in the gut than in the head. That means that a lot more information is transmitted from the guts and the heart than from the brain. Hence the popular expressions – “my heart tells my head to believe..” “My gut feeling tells me..” Our sub-conscience, that is responsible to more than 80% of our decisions, beliefs and values, is affected more by intuition and emotions.
Emotional intelligence is created by three factors – inborn temperament, childhood experiences, and later learning. It determine how we manage ourselves and how we manage others. Several qualities stem from emotional intelligence – social responsibility, conscientiousness, adaptability, conflict management, frustration tolerance, and flexibility – to name but a few.
These abilities vary from person to person. In some people they are stronger, and in some they are weaker. The good news is that these qualities can be improved, through learning and practice.
The main quality of emotional intelligence is self-awareness – knowing what emotions we feel and why, self-assessment – being aware of our strengths and weaknesses, self-confidence – a sense of self-worth and our capabilities. The main quality of emotional intelligence is self-awareness. There is a formula called D.R.I.V.E., which sums up how to enhance one’s self-awareness:-
Dissociate daily, by meditating for a while every day.
Reframe your thoughts – reinterpret things and circumstances.
Validation – accepting other people’s feelings as true, not as you would in his place. A key communication skills.
Change yourself, and your world will change!